How Do I Feel and Release Emotions?
A practical way of understanding and moving through your emotions.
Reading time: 5 minutes
I’ve heard people say, “Feeling your emotions sounds simple until you actually try to do it.”
But what if you don’t really feel anything at all?
What are you supposed to do with anger when you can’t change what happened?
What do you do with sadness when you’ve already cried about it?
How do you know when you’ve actually processed something instead of thinking about it over and over again?
And what does releasing an emotion even mean?
We feel things every day, but most of us were never taught what to actually do with those feelings.
What Does It Mean to Feel an Emotion?
Feeling an emotion can start with noticing what you’re experiencing within yourself and what has been happening around you. This may include an emotion you can name, thoughts that keep returning, changes in your mood or behavior, physical sensations, or something happening in your life.
You might notice you’ve been replaying a conversation, feeling unusually irritated, carrying tension in your shoulders, or wanting to withdraw. You may also recognize that something has changed in your life, you’ve had more responsibilities than usual, or a recent experience is still on your mind.
Taking a moment to slow down can give you time to notice these things more clearly.
You may eventually be able to put words to it:
“I’m angry.”
“That really hurt me.”
“I’m more overwhelmed than I realized.”
“I honestly don’t know how I feel, but something is there.”
And sometimes you may not know what you’re feeling internally at all.
You don’t have to force yourself to find an emotion or sensation that isn’t there.
And what we feel isn’t always easy to understand.
What You Notice Can Give You Information
Understanding what you’re experiencing isn’t always immediate.
You may know exactly why you’re upset. You may only notice that you’ve been more tired, irritated, distracted, or withdrawn lately. Something happening in your life may stand out, but you still aren’t able to put a feeling into words.
You don’t have to figure out exactly why you feel the way you do. Start with what you know.
With time, you may notice patterns in what affects you, what you need, or how you tend to respond.
2. What Does It Mean to Release an Emotion?
The word release can sound like there should be a moment when the emotion leaves and the experience is officially over.
But you can have a good cry and wake up sad the next morning. You can make peace with a decision and still think about it later.
Releasing an emotion doesn’t have to mean making it disappear. It can mean giving yourself room to experience, express, or respond to what you’re currently feeling without deciding how quickly it needs to change.
There are many ways you might respond to what you’re feeling. You might talk with someone you trust, journal, meditate, pray, move your body, listen to music, cook, garden, create, spend time outside, or enjoy a favorite show.
And I know moving through your emotions isn’t always easy. Taking a break can give you room to breathe without ignoring what still needs your attention.
The intention isn’t to spend every moment processing how you feel, but to find ways to care for yourself while deciding what, if anything, the feeling needs from you.
What If I Don’t Know What I’m Feeling?
You may know something feels different without knowing what to call it. You might notice strong feelings, physical sensations, thoughts, or very little at all.
Start with what you do know.
What happened?
What thoughts keep coming up?
Has your mood or behavior changed?
Have you eaten, had enough water, rested, or taken care of any physical discomfort?
Is there anything else going on that may be worth considering?
“I don’t know yet” is still a place to begin.
Making Room for More Than One Emotion
Emotions don’t always arrive one at a time. You can be excited about a new beginning and grieve what you’re leaving behind. You can look forward to something and still feel nervous about it.
One feeling doesn’t make the other any less real.
When You Keep Coming Back to the Same Feeling
There may be emotions you keep returning to, conversations you replay, or patterns you have a harder time understanding on your own.
If you continue finding yourself in the same place, a therapist, counselor, or another qualified mental health professional can offer support as you explore what you’re experiencing.
Finding Your Own Emotional Language
As you become more familiar with your own experiences, you may begin to recognize what supports you and when you may need more help.
Every emotion doesn’t need a perfect resolution.
Some feelings may change quickly. Others may stay with you for a while, even after you’ve understood what happened or responded in a way that supports you.
You don’t have to keep searching for an answer or trying different things until the feeling goes away.
Understanding what you’re experiencing, caring for yourself within it, and knowing what you want to do next is enough for now.
Nature & Sound is a place to slow down and reconnect through sound baths, guided meditations, and reflections on slower living. Whether our paths cross at a future sound bath, through a meditation, or in a Quiet Note, I’m grateful you’re here.
I hope this reflection encouraged you to slow down for a moment and reconnect with what you’ve been needing, in whatever way that looks like for you.
— Dominique
